Waiting

Human beings (you and me) experience a mixed bag of emotions in our life. There are different circumstances which provoke these emotions. There are varying experiences which elicit these emotions. 

And if there is one situation or context which educe a plethora of emotions, it is Waiting. 

Yes, Waiting in Anticipation.

I am Waiting

Think about the time when God Almighty would have created Adam and Eve, and waited for a moment, before releasing his creations on this very earth. He would have been supremely Delighted. 

Think about the time when you are creating something. As you see your creation take shape, and await its completion, you experience intense Joy. 

Think about the time when the baby is growing, and the parents are waiting for him or her to take the first baby steps. This wait would be characterized by Affection and Love for the baby.

Hope

Such emotions are indeed precious, and would be definitely better that the way I have projected. Let me delve into my own mind and look at some emotions I would have experienced.

Let me go back to school time. Back in school, waiting for the examination results would sometimes evoke Fear. What if I scored poorly in a subject? What if I didn't pass? And so on.

In those days, no one had heard about the internet. Snail mail was the in thing. E-Mail was an unknown commodity. People used to learn DOS.

The students had to give a self addressed envelope to the school folks. They would dispatch the results on 30th of April. And from the time the exams ended, till the results actually arrived by post, days and nights would be filled with Anxiety. And even Hope. And fervent prayers to God.

Anxiety

And after the results having actually arrived, and the burden being put off the heart, the care free bird (that I was) would play his heart out in the summer.

To add, such feelings of Anxiety, sometimes on the higher side, were cyclic and were repeated every year.

During the Engineering days, the exams were held every 6 months. The silly thing was that the results for a particular semester didn't turn up until the last month of the next semester. Such a long wait was often characterized by Frustration, and a deep sense of Anger for the evaluation mechanism.

And if I have to flashback to my placement exam, the wait of 8 hours -  between the exam and the selection announcement - caused intense Stress and Tension. 

Stress

I completely understand that a wait of 8 hours is very short as compared to the days and months which some people go though before landing up with a job. But the fact that it was a short wait itself added to the anxiety. It was like a T20 match, where before you know, the result is out.

There have been moments, where waiting for an acquaintance to turn up, resulted in Annoyance. Friends, however, are exempted from this feeling. There have been times, where the wait for a lonely weekend to pass away quickly, caused extreme Despair.

The wait before MSD cracked the last sixer in the World Cup finals had been filled with Excitement. The wait, before God Himself did the rescue act in the difficult times, were characterized by intense Fear and Helplessness.

Agony

The wait to ask a question, while the mind still being made up, caused relentless Agony. And if the question itself was not to be asked, or the point itself was not to be stated, the wait was followed by deep Regret and Remorse.

The wait for a dear friend to return a call was sometimes heart wrenching, causing Anguish. It was filled with moments of self doubt, and utterly low self confidence.

Envy

Lonely moments of waiting, in a public place, have often invited Envy and Jealousy in the mind. These are usually followed by pangs of guilt for having such disturbing thoughts. And sometimes, with feelings of Hope for a brighter future.

The wait for a friend evokes a mixed bag of emotions. I am yet to give a name to it.

The wait before sleep takes me over is sometimes characterized by Pride on the good work done though the day, or with Happiness resulting from help being extended to someone. Sometimes it is filled with Worry, and many a times with Gratitude and Contentment.

Contentment

A friend recently told me that she gets nervous while she gets ready to do her  work. She added that she gets excited too. Isn't it surprising that these two emotions coexist? Yes, they do and they manage to get the best out of her.

Nervous but Excited

I wonder why does a mind experience these myriad emotions while waiting. 

Is it because the future is unknown? Is it that we expect a particular picture of the future, and use these emotions as tools to realize the future as we want it? 

Well, questions are many, answers are few. I'm waiting for the answers. I don't think they would come out of some copybook. It would have to be a realization, provoked by Time and God Almighty.

Ultimately, waiting is a pause in our busy life, a pause to gather our thoughts, to appreciate life, to be thankful for the past and to shape up our mind and put the best foot forward in the future.