But don't fans of MS Dhoni gun for his blood if he plays poorly in a couple of matches? Here I am training my guns on the almighty Excel. Of course, in a lighter vein.
So why exactly do managers love Excel?
Eat Data, Live Data, Sleep Data is their anthem. And yes, the anthem does have some hidden lines too. Read all the data - Maybe. Use the data - Rarely.
|Eat Drink Sleep Excel|
I am a Data Guzzler
Excel is the Elixir of Life
The last I heard, Gilani Miyan (Yousuf Raza Gilani, the Prime Minister of Pakistan) has asked his secretary of in his office to prepare an excel with the list of Army Generals in his country. He is still clueless on how he plans to use this data.
|Excel Is The Elixir of Life|
Shamefully, he didn't cross check the results. Shamelessly, he defended his calculations. Lastly, he felt ashamed to accept that he didn't know how to use MS Excel.
What would have his fellow managers said? They would have chided him for not knowing how to work in Excel.
|Excel Is All Powerful|
My Bread is Not Stale
How much information do we create everyday? The amount of information created since the dawn of civilization till 2003. Read more here.
And importantly, the pace of creation of data is only increasing. And the circumstances under which the data continues to exist undergoes frequent change.
|Stale Data in Excel|
Did you know that the Wholesale Price Index in India is calculated based on a list of commodities. The list was drawn in 1993-1994. Exciting isn't it? Well, you have some Excel manager to blame. Read a news article on this crucial point here.
I Am A Spin Doctor
Spinners are world famous across the world for bowling classical deliveries. Shane Warne used to bowl a great googly which would leave the best of the batsmen clueless. And Muttaih Muralitharan was an expert in The Doosra (or the Wrong One's).
Excel transform ordinary men like you and me into Spin Doctors. The next two charts says it all.
|Excel Charts Leave You Flummoxed|
Reasons such as these are numerous. I may have to maintain an Excel with the complete list of reasons - something which I am not inclined to do on a Friday night.
If you want a few laughs, have a look at a few cartoons on Excel.
|A Few Excel Cartoons|